Sunday, February 05, 2006
Trust
I think it really suck not to be trusted just because.. you work 5 days a week (with irregular working hours) like anyone else n not forgetting having to attend classes and project meetings in the evenings & on weekends. It suck even more when you only tried to squeeze out some time you have left on hand after deducting sch, work n projects, to seek some social life, a short meal or a breather, but was being thought to be playing more than anything.
I dun really bother to explain these days.. I mean, what's the point, what's the point when there's almost no trust? There's still doubts about the school im doing, the projects I am working on. I try so hard but I get in return, doubts and more doubts. Then what? I can only keep trying.
Imagine, there are times when you had to head straight off for class after work and only wish for a proper meal for the entire day after class. But you get, scolding and doubts about really attending classes for being home late. You get the same kind of scoldings and doubts for doing projects late in the evening because everyone else in the group, including yourself, have gotta work in the day. Sigh. Well, you would probably say like most people will, don't work on the days when you have class. Work=money. (Let's be very practical in this society) And having a compromising manager doesn't mean always taking advantage of that, requesting for all the shifts you want. It's a give and take thing. You are not the only one with other commitments, the rest too. So with that, I give up. I rather go on an empty stomach than be home for a scolding after a long day, especially when it hasn't been a good day. Like the day hasn't been worse enough.
It gets really tedious to be misunderstood and not having a chance to speak for yourself coz by speaking for yourself only make things worse. And people you thought would understand a lil more than the others view things from the same angle, put in a nicer way.
Exams will be round the corner once again. It's the chance I prove myself again.
